First day of chemo successfully survived. I even got to be a traditional movie patient and shuffle my drip to the loo. Considering I now have to consume 3 litres of water every day for the next few days, the loo will be my most favourite place ; ) Overall it was a fairly chilled out day apart from the hunt for a vein in the morning which was a bit stressful.
I think it was as good as it could be and having those little extras made an enormous difference to my anxiety. I could feel a tiny hint of a panic attack when the cannula was being changed and I had images of deadly air bubbles to the brain but I managed to reign those in.
It is an odd duality of feelings though. On one level I feel relieved that I’m being treated and the drugs are working away. But I’m also feeling nervous and anxious that the drugs are also battering my body and are going to screw me in some unknowable way. Maybe that’s the main thing. The unpredictability of it. I should know with this first cycle what the side effects are going to be. Then next cycle I’ll know what to expect, so hopefully this anxiety will subside.
Next project is finding some cool, funky hats for spring weather. Challenge Bosom Buddies ; ) And a MA-HOOSIVE thanks to all you cheerleaders out there. It was a wonderful cosy feeling getting all your messages and comments. It made a big difference to maintaining my sense of self in an alien setting. You rock!!! I love you all.