Today’s meeting

A quick post to update you all from today’s meeting with my oncologist. After an hour wait and the nurse encouraging Lilah to use the furniture as a jungle gym, we got to see the doc.

The main news is she thinks the lump is even more flat. This is good. She did mention though that it’s still undecided if I have to have a mastectomy or not. I’ll be having the final MRI in two weeks to check the lump size and then in 5 weeks a meeting with the surgeon to decide if the boob is a goner.

I was a bit thrown by this conversation, having had it in my head that the boob would be saved. So I’m feeling a little adrift in these new more hardcore possibilities.

The nature of this whole process has been one of uncertainty and change. I just think I’ve got a handle on things and then there’s a cancer curve ball.

Anyway so I’ve had a good cry, grieved a little for the potential loss. Now it’s time for pizza, Buffy and a lot of cuddling.

8 thoughts on “Today’s meeting

  1. Georgie

    Absolutely a good night for some Buffy. Maybe season 3? We love you gorgeous girl!

    1. Heidi

      oh yes season 3 is the BEST! I’m on season 5 now so got Dawn to deal with…get out, get out, get out!!! xxx

  2. joba

    Hey darlin. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had that proverbial curve ball tossed your way. Lets hope for the best and yea you’re right, be prepared for come what may. I don’t really have any offers of advice on this as it’s something I’ve never had to deal with and I wouldn’t even know where to start with what you must be feeling, but I know you’re dealing with it the best you can and that’s to feel whatever you’re feeling, feel it fully and let it pass and move with the changes. I love you.x

    1. Heidi

      Thanks sis. I’ve processed a bit so got a better handle on it now. Good to read your words even if you don’t know what to say. Just nice to be listened to. xxx

  3. kim

    Ah Hides,thts tough especially as you thought it wasn’t on the cards. But at least they think the lump itself is getting smaller so that’s amazing!!! Love ya missus.
    P.s just a thought as your boobs are mahoovsive maybe you could, ya know, ask them to make you a uniboob!!! Love xxx

    1. Heidi

      uniboob eh? sorry feeling too fed up for a witty comeback. going back to bed now.. xxx

  4. Karen

    Hello love – I’m so sorry, I’ve obviously been offline for more days than I’d realised, and just saw your Saturday message now. That must have been a kick in the guts. It’s great that the lump is reducing in volume though, but I too had been assuming that because you have big boobs they wouldn’t need to consider a mastectomy. I can understand that the traumatic goalpoast-shifting must be hard. I remember the same thing with my brother-in-law – whether they’d remove part of the lung or the whole lung – each conversation about it was a big shift in our way of thinking about the whole thing. I hope you are feeling ok, having had a few days to mull over the possibility – although maybe that’s a silly thing to say – of course it’s not something that a few days will solve, but I hope you are feeling strong and calm, and if you’re not, I hope you’re finding comfort from your loved ones (and from Buffy). I am really sorry for any times I might say silly things as I try to get my head round these things. I was reading about the woman who started Empathy Cards today – what an inspiration and what a sensible idea! I’m sending you lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    1. Heidi

      thanks darling. how dare you be offline having a life ; p I’m feeling much better about it. Like you said it just takes a few days to settle into the new reality. Meditating on death makes it feel better, strangely. xxx

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