Last MRI done and done

I find myself in a random Pizza Express in Eastbourne after what will, hopefully, be the last MRI of this process. I endured it like a pro and could even be seen handing out advice in the waiting room to nervous first timers ; p

So the results go to my team later today and the hundreds of images are magically transformed by a human brain into a final size for the evil lump. I don’t have my next appointment until June 17th so a little while to wait. I’m undecided about whether or not to phone and ask for the results before. If I do that I risk getting big news in a cack handed way. If I wait for the appointment then it will delivered carefully and sensitively by my surgeon. Hm…

Anyway one big milestone reached and easily vaulted. I’m off to find roadside cherries and water the allotment.

12 thoughts on “Last MRI done and done

  1. Joba

    Yay for last time! see you later MRgoodbyeI. I reckon the messenger can really help how one takes the news so perhaps waiting would be better? How much longer would you have to wait? I love that you were giving advice, always helpful to have a calming knowitall on hand, takes away the element of fearful unknowingness. Big kisses.xxxxx

    1. Heidi

      have to wait til 17th June. yeh I’m not sure I helped her much but maybe my suggestion of a couple Valium did ; )

  2. Kat

    Hey love! Nice one on overcoming the MRI scan fear, that’s a mighty achievement. Now you’re all like, MRI? Meh. Where’s the pizza and cherries?

    Good luck with whatever you decide re the results. A tricky one – but you’ll probably know what you need to call or not when the time comes.

    big love dear. So good to hear you are getting some allotment time.

    1. Heidi

      hallo darling. yeh it felt good to conquer that fear. and I realised on the way home that the last of something really helped me see the end of all this. I was nervous the end wouldn’t feel like the end and it would be an anti climax but I did get a shiver of goodness from the prospect today. so hooray for that. xxx

  3. Kamila

    Hello Heidi! I was waiting for a nest post from you, and here it is. Just to say, I read them all, even if I don’t find the words to leave after I read them. About patience I learn now in my 12 Step Programme for the Overeaters Anonymous (Eating Disorders Anonymous would fit me better, but I am also an overeater, so I do not care). I learn from you too to be positive, accept and embrace whatever is coming, have the courage to do whatever I can and leave whatever I cannot do to the ones who can, and ask for help and express myself, generally.
    So about the results, like Kat says – you’ll probably know when the time comes, what to do…

    1. Heidi

      wow kamila, thank you for such an open and loving comment. I appreciate so much hearing about your own struggles and it lifts and connects me more to you to hear about them. you’re right of course that we all will know the right thing for us is we listen closely to ourselves. I’m waiting to hear the answer. I decided to actively not think about cancer the last week and while it gave me some mental respite, I did feel a huge loss of serenity and bliss which is one massive gift I have gotten from facing this illness. So I welcomed it back and cried with both sadness and joy. I have faith the decision will come. much love to you my friend and thank you for being on this journey with me. xxx

  4. Sokari

    Dear Heidi – yaaaaaa on the last MRI . Your friend Kamila says it all, embrace whatever comes, and do what we can when we can. I am practicing eliminating certain words from my vocabulary like Only & just. Take good care sending love as am off tomorrow xxx

    1. Heidi

      Thanks darling. Aw we will miss your loveliness this side of the Atlantic. It was so wonderful to see you, a precious 24 hours. Maybe we will swing by Miami on our American adventure next year. We love you. xxxx

  5. Karen

    Well done, amazing Heidi. Wow, the last MRI – it’s exciting to start seeing milestones of you getting through this process. I found it amazing to hear of the serenity you’ve found in facing the illness. What a great achievement. I’m sure the best decision about the test results will show itself soon. Thinking of you all and sending lots of love xxxxx karen

    1. Heidi

      Thanks dearest Karen. Yeh I think if there can be an upside to cancer, it’s that I’m not sweating the small stuff and not taking anything for granted. I really don’t want to lose that. Big love to you my gorgeous friend. xxx

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