All packed

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Heart pillow: check. Boob accessible tops: check. Hot flushes spray: check. This is the weirdest suitcase I’ve ever packed. With this strange collection of things I’m headed to surgery tomorrow morning. First I have to get a needle localisation at 9:30am in the local breast clinic. This is a thin strip of wire inserted into the tumour to act as a guide for the surgeon later. Then after that bundle of fun I’m off to Haywards Heath for the surgery. I arrive at 11:30am for the pre-op process. I envision lots of reassuring uniformed people giving me massages and cuddles. I suspect they’ll just be weighing me and removing all signs of my individuality as a human being. Except my glasses, those I’m allowed to keep.

The surgeons go off for lunch. Alas I am banned from food and water. Then I’ll be wheeled to theatre at 1:30pm. The procedure was inspired by a cosmetic surgeon called Louis Benelli. They will make two incisions around my nipple, remove the bits between and lift up skin and fat. They’ll cut the tumour plus a margin of 1cm around like taking a slice of pizza.Then they smoosh the whole thing back together into a boob shape. It should be done and dusted by 3:30pm. Adam will update here with news.

Apart from the obvious niggle/terror of dying under general anaesthetic and never waking up again, I’m also most worried about waking up and singing cheesy pop songs whilst declaring love for random nurses. This is a real possibility according to my cancer mates. In classic British style I am as nervous about potential death as public humiliation. I’m OK with that. See you on the flip side lovely buds.

22 thoughts on “All packed

  1. Sokari

    Didn’t realize surgery was tomorrow. The localization might’ve painful- thinking of you my dear sending loads of hugs and love xxx

    1. Heidi

      thanks Daphne dearie. Hah I love me a bit of Taylor swift! I suspect though that I will revert to some early 80s ditty. xxx

  2. ki

    Good Luck tomorrow Hidyhi. Will be thinking off you and holding my boobs in sympathy. Love ya Sis. xxx

    1. Heidi

      lol sister. thanks for making me spit my coffee out. love you too. and BIG thanks for my healthy treats. some of em are going in my bag for hospital yums. xxxx

    1. Heidi

      thanks gorgeous woman. hope your bump is treating you well. masses of live from us xxxx

  3. Tammy

    Heidi, we will be thinking great thoughts for you. Kinda like the idea of you singing cheesy songs and declaring undying (pun intended) love to strangers. Maybe someone could video that?!?!?
    Love & wonderfulness to you ALL
    Tammy xoxoxoxooxo

    1. Heidi

      hah Tammy did you miss the bit about my dread of this??!! we will never speak of it again ; )

  4. Kamila

    Oh my lovely Heidi, I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow – I’m at work until 15:15, so it’ll be just a couple of minutes after when it is all finished and you’ll be awake – singing, I bet!

    1. Heidi

      thank you darling. I’m hoping to stay unconscious until the urge to sing has passed. I’ll hum a ditty in my dreams ; ) xxx

  5. Mel jarman

    Kisses, hugs and best of luck to you. I’m likely to be in Haywards heath on Tues eve so let me know if you’re up for a visit, or need anything – don’t you or Adam be shy about asking. I’ll be around in haywards heath again and will be more flexible time-wise on thurs and fri. Xxxxxx

    1. Heidi

      thanks sweetie. I’ll text you on Tuesday. visiting times are 3-5 and 7-8:30pm. be great to see you! xxx

  6. Varpu

    Dear Heidi, you are in my mind and I will be thinking of you tomorrow! Good luck tomorrow, break a leg (or is that a bit weird for an operation..?)! Loads of love and hugs from Finland!! Xxx Varpu

  7. Caroline

    As always, you write with such awesome towering strength and an incredibly humbling sense of your completely natural fears. Love you Heidi. It will all go well. Think of a GA as a luxury spa break for your senses to nod off for a bit before reawakening rejuvenated and ready to rock again. The surgeons I know put their profession before anything else. Their magic is second nature to them and they will know exactly what they’re doing. Enjoy switching off that brilliant mind for a few hours while they perform their life-giving tricks. And if you do burst into a rendition of Wake Me Before You Go Go as you high kick off the bed, I have no doubt the doctors and nurses would simply see it as a very memorable thank you! We’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, and sending you loads of love and hugs, C xxxxx

  8. Zack

    Hello Cuz,

    Best wishes for the opt tomorrow. I shall be thinking about you and I hope you receive some positive energy from those thoughts. We (Tabitha, Enda, Orin and I) love you and yours.

  9. Paula

    My love, just back in A’dam after visiting home. Will be thinking of you all day. You will wake up lighter and relieved and all this will be over soon. Holding you tight.

  10. Letty

    Good luck Heidi, thinking of you, when this is all over let’s have a beach day with the girls xxxx ps I quite enjoyed my experience with general, go with it! I awoke talking about the tropical fizzy drink Lilt. You will be grand! X

  11. Karen

    As I’m writing this, I know you are in surgery right now – which feels very strange. I’m just glad that soon this will be behind you and you can get on with the job of recovering from the last 6 months of being constantly challenged by this mad experience.

    And yes, i am sure you may well be jabbering madly to the nurses when you come out of anaesthetic! I was, after my op. I was telling them how great they were, it felt amazing! Don’t be embarrassed! It probably makes their day!

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